1. |
The Pedestrian
01:48
|
|||
|
"The Pedestrian"
Questions you ask before your cousin's uncanny demise,
Vanity lies
What is a black man's humanity size?
Answers divide us
Though united first as ancestors,
man's plan is in the damned hands of a virus
Insanity lies deep in soul
Deep in the muscle
And deep in the brain tissue that we use for control
Fuck The Man we despise
Fuck his cancerous lies
Let calamity rise
Aight then, niggas. I'll set the scene up:
Travellin' on foot, I'm cleaned up from after work
Me and the diner team up
We gonna meet up in the neighborhood, kick feet up, and chill
While walking over, I can feel the night is silent and tranquil, but stirring its will
It's like a current moving my body though I'm determinedly still
Unnervingly ill late translations of familiar landscapes be handshaking with my anticipation
and The Jake is in a squad car waiting in the parking lot vacant
of a gentrifying wine bar adjacent
closed for the night, but whose consistency for emptiness, even while open, has earned a reputation.
'I guess the cop secured the area!'
I say to myself while my laughter gets to quaking.
We lock eyes while I'm inhaling.
I discover hate.
It's tangible like hot to the touch.
I go on about my business, but he's bothered too much.
He follows.
I let my head relax and dread synapses casually shut off
cause if that hoe was in his own car, he would actually fuck off.
I hang a right towards my destination on to Desolation Row and without further hesitation,
he turns on his red, white, and blue lights illuminating,
gets out the car and asks me, 'Fuck you tryna do?'
He's baiting.
Tells me, 'Step to the side of the car!'
I calmly comply.
Soon as we're out of the view of the dash cam, he tries to get sly
and without telling me why,
he tries to sweep my legs, but can't qualify.
He pulls out his heat and (gunshot)
Goddammit, I don't wanna die...
|
||||
2. |
The Missing
01:30
|
|||
|
"The Missing"
Through bulletproof glass, you say they might set me free... with good behavior.
8 years turns to 3... with good behavior.
You don't believe that you will leave... with good behavior.
So, I am you and you are me... with good behavior.
Don't think about the lesser sentence that I should've got
Don't about the cops
My cousin who they shot
Don't think about his little girls or his one son
Don't think about the fact that he was ever someone
Don't think too hard about regrets that we were not in touch
Don't think that everything you ever did was not enough
Don't be reminded that to murder us, they have to lie
When people believe them, don't think about why
Don't think of the cold race war inside of the prison
Don't start thinking that on the outside it's missing
That's the intention of detention itself
Create a threat that in affected mindsets will permanently mention itself
A virus uploaded to the black male mainframe that tells a brain that what's good for the prison you're in and yourself is the same thing
The thoughts will get you out will keep you free of infractions
Only thing that distracts a man is when his eyes see what happens
And the threat of reality distracting you is the most fierce
Cuz that's the threat the state's control and weaponry won't pierce
Emotions of independence will leave you dead on arrival
The results of every reaction make you rethink survival
So don't think
And when they're searching in your eyes, don't blink
Convince the system they beat you, but don't believe that you're weak
Because a freedom of a mind in the middle of a cell
Is a freedom in a jail within a jail within a jail
|
||||
3. |
The Looter
01:37
|
|||
|
"The Looter"
I burned your building to the level of the hell that I'm subjected to
Rejected by your economics' ethics
You could take away my family, humanity, and future
Then, all I could take was TV's
Abusers calling me "looter"
Because if you can't feel me,
You can't feel a goddamn thing
You said, "Drop that thing! 'Fore I pop that thing!"
So, I'm looking in my hands
Because living's in the plans
But I can not bring them to let go
Because you cowards never really wanted peace
You just want that thing
(gunshot)
Doo-wop, doo-wop
One shot, two shots
Guns hot, two cops
And just another slab of meat that wanted to play ball
Before a civil-suit acquittal and a "poorly-made call"
We never said that it would solve all of our people's problems to steal
You never offered to help dissolve them
You said, "Nah, they're not real."
Hope, now, they're real to you
When the blood money running through this country turns to ash, will you still do you?
Tell me, what point is my life?
When life is undone?
How do I go on?
Where does pride come from?
Dignity wasn't ever patriotically given to me
I found apparently that pride was not in my inheritance from your founding parents
So, pride, I stole back
My theft is righteous
My wealth: a soul black
My God's the highest
And I pray to the same God that you will feel my story
And I pray to the same God that if you do not, he will kill you for me
I hope a riot I could instigate will kill you for me
Or a song that I once listened to will kill you for me
Cuz you ignored me and
All I wanted was to once meet my Uncle Jerome
And all I wanted was my nephew safe inside his home
And all I wanted was for you to watch your fuckin tone
And all I wanted you to say was one day you'd repay the loan
|
||||
4. |
The Teacher
02:42
|
|||
|
"The Teacher"
In '66, we had a possibility, didn't we?
I was twelve, the Panthers played me, but couldn't get rid of me
So they looked past the kid in me and fitted me in a black leather jacket
By seventeen, I had a shotgun to match it
Up in the action, in the mix, I could never forget
When I was younger, poor, and sick,
They would hook me up with some grits
I knew that food for thought
Wasn't what Hoover bought
It was what Huey taught at breakfast
Now, he's lying in the sewer shot...
The grief felt when my people lose a leader lasts for generations
Violent like a crucifixion
Brutalizing degradation
Movements of society diminished when defined by the greatness and charisma of a few good men
And Huey knew that even way back when
That a man can be taken out
But the soul of a living revolution can find him a way back in
Comrades and friends I tell you we don't need a leader
We just need a conscience
And every now and then,
Teachers who can see through nonsense
If Karl Marx was not a Marxist
Christ was not Christian
A man is not an ideology
Act with your own conviction
Not on loaned permission
Of surrogate intelligence
Must we be killed before our ideas rise to prevalence?
Love, hate, self-defense
Seldom do all of the above make a wealth of sense
When blood shapes relevance
Have you ever heard a violent man propose a plan of peace?
Did you know a thousand people who'd die for him in the street?
Did they know of twenty people who'd rot for him in a box without a key?
If you got him out of a box, could you yourself emerge as free?
Could you stare evil in the eye and be the change you wanted to see?
Or will the sun go down on you as it is always done to me?
I've seen a kid yawn, bored as my life's recanted
Found a generation prior and after me disenchanted Disengaged and therefore at a disadvantage
A shovel in the struggle won't budge when it's not romantic
Life's work told by shriveling, fading, and failing flesh
The image assigned to your success and your spirit may never mesh
A man who worshiped you resents you
A broken, discouraged mess
And every now and then, a youth will listen more and ask for less
And they'll be tested when their faith in a human is forced to break
By the means of an addiction or death by the hand of State
So if you teach me how to play guitar, I'll try to make the sun rise
Teach me how to raise a star, I'll try to make your son wise
Your name, your age, your sex, your dress, your race is not you comprised
They're just supplies for you to devise
your grassroots and its size
And in that anonymity is a base
The work of the body's a multitude and not just the face
A death via revolución is not just a waste
It's a passing of the torch I've embraced
with all of my passion.
|
||||
5. |
The Scholar
00:46
|
|||
|
"The Scholar"
You ought to stick to the issue
I've got the itch to dismiss you
You're educated while ignorant
Shoddy history misused
I'm black, you're white, and we both got into this college -
you say Affirmative Action is racist. You won't acknowledge
the structure of our society, the context of our lives.
Racist Reconstructionist red-lining realty still will deprive
the multitude of black neighborhoods equal opportunities
You fast to play the victim would never live in our communities
Ask any black student's grandfather or grandmother
if land was rented in rich white suburbs to many 'coloreds'
Ask them if the law would arrive if ever they crossed the tracks
Look up how much public schooling is paid for by income tax
So if no economic boom included the black and poor
And you're the heir, but you want to kick me out to gentrify my dorm,
then you should study 'til that title 'most qualified' suits you
cuz if you and I apply and it ends up in a tie,
screw you.
|
||||
6. |
The Left Behind
01:12
|
|||
|
"The Left Behind"
Hey, Ma.
I've been wonderin' why you're not around.
Did I do something wrong?
What's really going down?
Your other kids all live with you,
it's like I'm not their bro.
It's like I'm all alone.
Came from a different dad, his mom's raisin' me tryin' her best.
I just figured I'd reach out, got a lot on my chest.
Feeling like I'm stuck in the school or in the street.
Fed up gettin' stuck up like a fool without no heat.
Feelin' out of luck, in the groove of a defeat.
Still been gettin' fucked on a loop that just repeats.
They just kicked me out the 11th grade for good
'cuz my wish kept gettin' granted that a motherfucker would.
Caught up in the bullshit wishing someone understood.
Wishin' it was true that I could make it out the hood.
|
||||
7. |
The Money
02:09
|
|||
|
"The Money"
So, if you're making money, you may ask what money makes.
Money makes the whole economy of self-worth inflate.
Money makes few goals mean more than to maintain,
then money makes two souls out of the same name.
Money can get your dick get play, then put dicks in a tomb.
Money can make vampire teeth appear in a womb.
Money can make a woman feel she can control her endeavors.
Money makes a man try and fail to hold every treasure.
Money can make you hella cautious how you spend it.
Money can make you start a song hot then not care how you end it.
Money robs.
Money takes.
Money makes mobs.
Money makes slobs productively useless.
Money makes problems,
so money creates jobs,
but jobs don't fix 'em.
Jobs create more excuses.
Money makes you pay for rain
and the rain-keeper's disease.
Money makes you think you need it to breathe.
Money makes life a living hell,
then money makes you need it to leave.
Money makes you feed your greed while you feed your seeds.
Money makes marketable -
money makes massive -
same things money makes passive.
Money makes you active in mass genocide, although you don't plan it.
Money makes the land across a sea a whole different planet.
Money makes the man across the street a whole different planet.
Money makes them bandos 'cross them freeways whole different planets.
And, if given the chance, money makes "coke" sound like "cope"
and "hope" sound like "nope"
and "trope" sound like "dope".
Our scope and focus broken on how much we give and we take -
money makes you wait for fuller plates to state you relate.
Outrageous how we make money make us.
Money creates tension between people that you've known your whole life.
Money makes your girl not your wife.
Money makes funny Jakes trife.
Money creates.
Money enables imaginations to reach levels unstable.
What's on the inside countin',
but accountants can't count it's worth's amount - is more than mountains of the ground from which we're founded.
|
||||
8. |
The Chosen Skin
00:46
|
|||
|
"The Chosen Skin"
I only wanted money so that I could be fresh.
Pockets ain't stockin' profits if you walk in a mess.
Yes.
Provocative, blessed.
Probably stop the world the way I rock how I dress - best.
And I ain't even flossin'.
It's just, with how you're gawkin', it would seem I have a lot to invest...
Style.
Hit the profile on 'em, watch 'em go wild in the West.
We wildin' for the zest while in an isle of denial.
Fall in single-file miles for the buyers of our flesh
and products made in distress/duress in Bangladesh.
I want my own design clothing line but I can't find a mesh
that stretch-fits that elephant.
Yet it's relevant, 'cuz new and old slave labor's paid for
when the makers ain't sellin' it.
|
||||
9. |
The High
01:01
|
|||
|
"The High"
The greatest peace I ever felt was what they told me to dodge.
Born a fuckin' junkie. No gateway, just probable odds.
Me and Moms fighting in the street, squabbin'.
Hang with vets who ask their gods for affirmation, so Jehovah goes and gives them the nods.
10 miles west, same addicts' daddies get them real jobs while...
( " I g e t t h i s f e e l i n g . . . " )
Oh, shit!
This is where the party's at!
I'm finna dance with the Devil. Where your car keys at?
She said that wasn't such a bright idea when I was only getting high right before I see 'er.
Hoping she wouldn't notice, hoping she wouldn't blow it.
So focused on making our different standards of normal coexist.
That's when I made a promise to sort my shit and to get on it,
but I was dosing everyday avoiding sickness and vomiting.
On top of that, seeking treatment with my funds was just the runaround.
Weary of every "Healthcare Professional", I felt hunted down.
I'll just stay underground.
I'm glad that you're relatin'.
Before we take this,
did you shut all the doors on your way in?
|
||||
10. |
The Shooter
01:28
|
|||
|
"The Shooter"
"Shooters in the suburbs, shooters in the projects....
I ain't respectin' none of 'em
None of 'em shot a cop yet.
They're killing us on camera
and none of them have been stopped yet.
They're manipulatin' our situation.
We're buildin' their prospects."
My best friend said all of that to me back in '91.
He was fresh out the marines amassing silent guns
I had paroled out of the clink from a 10-stretch
Been in our youth, we both were gangbangin',
we had been vets.
Been threats.
Been an enemy of the state.
So when he came home talkin' organization, I could relate.
He said,
"Lil' homies with the colored rags in their pockets
really be flyin' flags.
Gangs are undercover nation infiltrations,
but niggas is not ready for a revolution.
They'll sever their own heads
before severin' ties to their institutions."
I was pursuin' independence in our neighborhood
Cuz if we had an army and a flag, why not have stable goods?
Why not grow our own food?
"Why not sew our own clothes?"
Why not teach our own kids?
"Why not fight our own foes?"
Planned on taking gangs and trading their claimin' in for nationalism.
See how the state dealt with some radicalism
when the Crips and the Bloods became a military performing domestic coups;
unified and mobilized, unresting, collectively fused.
Every ghetto now a cover revolutionary cell.
They'll respect us well once we turn our guns on them;
not ourselves.
When the Rodney riots happened, my nigga said it was opportune
He said,
"The time is now! We gotta drop some cops off in their tombs!
Take civilian territory stackin' massive body counts!
When they send the National Guard in, give 'em Hell in mass amounts!
Then, behead the president on live television!"
I watched this vision slowly shift from our collectivism.
I had put in work my whole life pretendin' I wasn't affected
'til that second I tipped the feds, executing my own acceptance.
|
||||
11. |
The Colored
01:37
|
|||
|
"The Colored"
I remember the year was 1917.
I remember that at the time that I was 17.
My daddy was a farmer, mama raised us young.
I was the seventh daughter and the baby 'til they had two sons.
I reckoned my daddy could box a tornado and when the fight.
He'd work with all his might on our land and played with us every night.
That year, he prayed the same prayer every day and God heard it,
'cuz he blessed our family with the tools to make our harvest perfect.
Each day, my daddy gave it all he had without a rest / stop.
Harvest came, and in all of Oklahoma, we had the best crops.
Then, one night I woke up finding everything we owned in flames.
In jealousy, some white folks decided to take it all away.
I hugged my daddy crying and said, "it's like these white people don't want us to have anything."
And I remember that he was speechless.
|
||||
12. |
The Wealth
02:21
|
|||
|
"The Wealth"
America, my old friend, now it seems you're deemed as highbrow.
Don't leave me at the door. Please do invite me into my house.
From where does this rare hesitation stem? No, I'm no enemy!
It hasn't been that long now, has it?
Just a pair of centuries.
I know you jest and kid with me.
You cannot scoff in view of me.
My exclusive allowance assembled your land of opportunity.
You know the facts well.
So throw my past tales into the earshot of all of your guests.
I am The Ghost of Black Wealth.
I've not visited this continent since Egypt's 18th Dynasty.
Your Mississippi River was like a secondary Nile to me
But finally, I have you in the sight of me again
and it's delightfully surprising to see you stridently ascend.
You and I know, back in Europe, you resided in those pens
with all of those animals you raised and all of their viruses within.
I'm glad that I could take sabbatical from thriving syndicates
to show you how to live indoors. Now, step aside and let me in.
How dare you block my entrance to your petty party's scene!
You were dwelling in a cave on the day we first convened!
My lot of slaves were dressed in silk!
You couldn't afford to keep your's clean!
Your oligarchical exclusion attempts are laughably a dream!
You plan on using the tool of race to demonize my genius?
I invented the thought of thinking before the existence of your genus.
I was the first to circumnavigate the globe,
the first to map Antarctica, the first chemist, I made up the periodic code.
As Musa Keita, I owned more wealth than your greedy arms could hold,
quick to give 100 million of your currency in gold.
But I am more, I am the Moor that taught your heads of Renaissance.
I am the Moor that brought you the Arabic language the Quran.
I birthed the first Asian Dynasties.
I welcome your subtraction.
Hide in Vaticans depictions of your stolen savior's black skin.
But I curse your Empire to be split into two factions,
half your kingdom only loyal to what nations urge me back in.
And since you see brightness as the mightiest force achievable,
and you say exploding stars conclude your myth or something helical,
when darkness smothers ashes of your sun and all seeable,
know black matter, Heaven's melanin, is the hardest rain conceivable.
In humble origins, all aristocracy was sin.
We shed like skin, but not within, what we will one day want again.
|
||||
13. |
Tom
00:36
|
|||
|
"Tom"
The word, the talk, is I'm Urkel, rocking Birken-socks, clocking in a circus tent working office jobs. It's absurd. And I've got a lot of love for everybody, but I don't like none of y'all. Pressure got me treating Joe Plumber just like a son-in-law. A hundred "nah's", my "nigga". Fuck you. Nothing's wrong. And when I'm on, you're on my lawn, I've rung the gong, so listen. You want a pawn? You'd better ponder on. I'm prominent. You call me "Uncle Tom", an ad-hominem, but I'm dominant! You want to fight, say I want to be white? That's that "I-did-everything-right" ridicule, so why in the fuck should I be invisible?
|
||||
14. |
The Menace
02:44
|
|||
|
"The Menace"
AIN'T A NIGGA DISS ME DYIN OF A NATURAL CAUSE
I'M BACK TO PAINT YA CHURCH BLACK
MAC TO YA BACK
NEVER SAT AND PAUSED
FUCK YA BITCH ASS
YOU BACK THE LAWS
AND THAT FACADE IS NOT HONEST
BUT YOU GON GET A CLAP FO YA ACT
APPLAUSE
IN FACT I CLAP YA WHOLE WHACK "ACT NATURAL" SQUAD
PULLIN SHIT
I GOT EM RUNNIN TRACK AND JOGGIN
BULLETS GETTIN THROWN
NO OPTION FOR YA HALFBACK
THATS THAT
I LEAVE EM NAPPED AND WRAPPED UP
DEFRAUDIN NOTHA NIGGA SOON TO BE NODDIN
ROTTIN
FUCK A SET YA BITCH ASS BELONG IN
ROBBIN MOBBIN NIGGA UNTIL IM DROPPIN
ID PROBABLY GET YOU FOR YA GATORS DEAD IN MY COFFIN
REAL SHITLL HAPPEN THAT OFTEN
CAPPIN GON LEAD TO GATS POPPIN
THAT AINT EVEN THAT SHOCKIN
YOU STAYIN TALKIN SHIT WHERE THERE AINT SHIT TO DO
NIGGA YOU GON DO SOME SHIT OR IT GET DONET TO YOU
GOTTA HAPPEN ONEATHEM WAYS
FO CRACK POPS DIPPED
ME AND LEE STARVED SUMMATHEM DAYS
BECAME A RUNNER HUSTLER SET TRIPPER
GUNNIN YOU LAMES
YALL GOT ME FUCKED UP
I FUCK UP THE GAME
BITCH NIGGA
TRYNA DO THE ODD JOBS
SHIT WAS NEVER FOR ME
KNOWIN I COULD LEVEL UP ANOTHA HUNNIT STORIES
FUCK A WRONG WAY
CANT A RIGHT WAY SUPPORT ME BUT THE NEED WAY
I NEED IT
BETTER RUN IT
MOTOR SPEED-WAY
STRAIGHT ROCK
WHOLESALE
BALLIN OFF THE REPLAY
CAKE GOT STRAIGHT THOTS CRAWLIN
GO WHERE WE SAY
SAID HE WASNT FROM MY HOOD GOT MURDERED ON A WEEKDAY
NO SLIPPIN
NO FUCKIN PASSES
NO LEEWAY
NO HOPE
I STARTED OUT WITH A HEART
PEOPLE COULD NEVER TELL ME AND MY BROTHER LEE APART
A NIGGA SAID MY NAME AIMED FOR HIS HEAD AND SAID YOU HARD?
PULLED THE TRIGGER (left him dying in my arms...)
FUCK THAT
IMMA BUST FIRST SO IMMA NEVER HAVE TO BUST BACK
MAPPIN OUT YOU BABY MAMA CRIB
IMMA RUSH THAT
HUSH THAT
HOPIN YOU FEEL THE PAIN OF DEFEAT
TOUGH ACT WANT BEEF?
SOFT NIGGAS WONT EAT
DONT LET YA LITTLE CUZZIN WALK TO SCHOOL ON MY STREET
I AINT CHOOSE MY DESTINY
MY DESTINATION CHOSE ME
I MERELY MASTERED MY SURVIVAL
A RIVAL DEAD ON ARRIVAL
WITH AN EYEFUL OF HIS BLOOD
IN DENIAL OF FEAR PRIMAL
AND WHEN ME AND MY CREW DIE WE READY
FUCK IF ITS FINAL
THE YOUNGINS IN THE HOOD GON GET RIFLES AND PLAY THE CYCLE
JUST LIKE WE DID
THEY USED TO JUMP ME AND LEE FO WE GOT CHROME
GOT A CLOCK
SHOT IT ONCE
BLOCK EMPTIED
WE WALKED HOME
IM STILL HERE
STILL NO HOE
AND THIS STILL LIFE
STILL DRINKIN AND STILL SMOKIN AND STILL STAYIN ALIVE
AND EVERYDAY STILL WALKIN PAST THE SPOT MY BROTHER WAS KILLED
WE JUST STILL
WE JUST STILL
|
||||
15. |
The Red Light
02:52
|
|||
|
"The Red Light"
Hello, can I come in for bit?
I'm just tryna get out the cold for a second if it's cool.
Thank you.
Can I just sit for a bit?
You know, I got somewhere in a minute or two I do need to get to.
I appreciate that.
"Cry like a baby...
I'm like a baby to you...
To you....
I may look like I'm shady, but...
All grown-up and shady, but do you...
To you..."
Been on my feet since the mornin'
Been walking while it's been stormin'
It's hard to breathe and it's pourin'
My ankles stiff, swolen, sore...
Oh, me?
I'm...
good...
Actually, yeah, I could take some water.
What is the place?
This building?
Y'all come up here havin' concerts?
Y'all jammin'? Y'all rock 'n rollin'?
Y'all slammin'? All that commotion?
You pretty boys be singing songs leavin' ladies heartbroken?
Nah, I'm just playin'...
But you know that you can't fake love, right?
You know that love is patient, it don't push, it don't shove, right?
That's good!
See, you listen.
That's sayin' somethin'.
When I was 'round your age, wun't nobody could tell me nothin'...
...Say, I'm arthritic, y'all got some motrin?
No aspirin? No advil? No nuprin? No ibuprofin?
...Hey, thank you for checkin'.
I'll be gone in a second.
There's just some drama goin' on outside and I thought that I'd step in...
Hmm?
Yeah, you know folks get to smokin'... folks get drinkin'... they don't get to thinkin...
But I don't do that...
Hmm?
Well, you know it can get tricky...
I live on the street, y'know?
Situations get sticky. I gotta sleep at SOME point.
A man said I could stay with him and stay fed...
But he wants to stay in the same bed...
...and I don't do that...
...so, I told him that I don't do that...
You're so polite.
I bet you got a good family, huh?
I bet I'm right.
What are they like?
That's nice.
Well, I guess I should be on my way, then.
Thanks for the water, the seat, and the conversation.
Y'all have a good night...
|
||||
16. |
The Dancer
03:14
|
|||
|
"The Dancer"
I am a dancer
and it's something that I live to do
It's something that I'm livin' through
It's something I can give to you
I am a dancer and I think that you're a dancer too
So make spectators answer to the frantically romantic you
If you're propelled to feel the temperature, you have to move
Your soul was bouncing up and down long before and long past the groove
The act and attitude
don't require no dramatic mood,
just gratitude
for having two feet
and beats to pat 'em to
on a stage were I brought everything I had to prove and left it all
We're on to different avenues
Now, you can clap at me like "that'll do",
but I ain't said shit
This is just something that I had to do
Maybe you'd make me an idol
Bring a date to my recital
Make a night of it
You both could write a bad review
I can't be mad at you
'cause all I have for you is directions to a love deeper than any hole you'll chase a rabbit through
Dance
To fall into your arms is to know I have a purpose
I'm not alone
I'm not worthless
I'm not out of place
My doubt is
A curse is
You have a louder grace
In worship, I'm assured to a certainty
But a current of nervous speach encircles me movin' serpentine
So I rehearse sturdily, thirstily
'til it hurts and bleeds
'til they've heard of me
'til I need nurses
'til lyin' in caskets in churches
Observers
Support the arts with hard cash
And run their currency
I'm currently the first to see
They do themselves the courtesy
My child unbirthed in me,
I can't condone just how alone you felt
to come to know the only one you'll ever call your own won't help
A passed life
A sacrifice to a black strife
A vast price fastens tragedy to me fast, tight
Ash flies rapidly
In agony, I grasp sight
that they last,
cries that, one day, you wouldn't ever have to ask twice
I'd get the cash right
and you'd be shinin' like a diamond in the last light
On massive heights with the brightness of a flash white
Just you and me, my precious angel baby, that's right
And at night I view my past was a crash site
I gave so much of my youth up,
a part of me has died
But I love,
But sometimes not enough at the right time
And I'm the judged by the ones with the stones casted
I'm trippin' the light fantastic
Somebody's looking over me
and comforts my sadness
In the last light
On massive heights with the brightness of a flash white
Just you and me, my precious angel baby, that's right
And at night I view my past was a crash site
I gave so much of my youth up,
a part of me has died
But I love
But sometimes not enough at the right time
And I'm judged by the ones with the stones casted
I trip the light fantastic
Somebody's looking over me
and comforts my sadness
In the last light
Soon as I see the final curtain call,
I think about a family I've forsaken who it hurts to call
It's like there's this internal wall
That's not inadvertent at all
So hustling out of love takes me from servant to burden befallen
I'm perfectly all-in
I'm sterling, they're stallin'
My kin's hurt and appalled when I learn of their problems
They infer I'm not working to solve 'em
'cause I got a gift I won't let go to waste
and now I'm sending money instead of showing face
But when I got the gig,
they told me straight up
there were 6 spots
and out of the world's dancing population, I got picked, Pops
It's not time to quit to pick it up again
I can't be young again
I know we're hungerin'
but I am gonna win
Do you remember the room that I got discovered in?
The studio lacked AC,
The scout's attention was coveted
and it was stressful
But he tapped me on the neck
and I never thought that I'd be successful
I just felt sorta special
Now, in these seconds, stars fly
Many book us tryna buy
Cars fry, shit gets stolen
Now we game bread markets
Wreckin' far and wide
sends you cooking other guys
'Partheid, leaves you broken, sour -
Flame, lead sparking
Check you sparring sly
That gets you hooked up with the pie
Scars hide egos swollen -
Cowards: lame, dead targets
Set the bar high when you look up in the sky
Stars die, but they're rollin' out the same red carpet
|
||||
17. |
The Stoned
00:51
|
|||
|
"The Stoned"
You will never cage me.
I will break free of eighty
ways and means
to stay unseen
you've made for me.
You will never waste an opportunity to faithfully
chase after both my communities' safety.
Here, I say and mean
you'll never call me crazy.
I'm unashamedly
as black and gay as the way I was favorably made to be.
You will never cage me.
Beyond you, there's a way for me.
Beyond you, there's a god you love who loves and gives me bravery.
Beyond you, there's a god you love who love's my friends contagiously.
Beyond you, there's a god who's tempted like me, not mistakenly.
And if I don't believe in him, I don't want you to pray for me.
I want you to respect me and I want you unafraid of me.
I'm people.
You will not say that's not legally so.
I am equal.
So unspeakably so.
You unleash in me a fever with a heat
that vehemently
melts the secrecy
of what my freedom means to me.
Who needs you to know
that I can love him?
|
||||
18. |
The N-Crowd
01:48
|
|||
19. |
Jake Hopson, FWPD
01:36
|
|||
|
"Jake Hopson, FWPD"
A polaroid of an academy graduate gets back to my sons
in case I'm killed on the job by people on crack with guns.
An old portrait of a young, fresh face in a black uniform gets hung
so my wife won't forget who I was.
And that's justice.
They leave that part out of "nigger loving" training, or whatever it's called...
"Integrity..." "Implicit bias..." "Complaining..."
They send you into the jungle with a protocol constraining
but they don't care how you get the job done on the years they're not campaigning.
They don't care what a cop does.
A man defending his country's killed in Afghanistan and the average man won't even care who the shot was.
The shit is a joke.
Townsfolk won't care if I croak and they won't care if I take the money of a nigger with coke.
I've got to cover my ass in the heat of the smoke.
I've got to make a couple moves to make sure I don't go broke
while I clean up their messes.
Their stresses in their addresses
so they can shoot the messenger of what the law here expresses.
I've done a thousand tours of duty here in the ghettos of Texas.
It's hard to rest.
At home, I'm on my guard without an armored vest.
'Cause when I'm undressed or after arrests, I'm feeling repressed
and that the world's unimpressed with me giving my maximum best.
The amount of change I see won't match the amount of heart I invest.
Arson and theft, larceny, sex, armed assault with more far-spread effects...
I argue, "What's next?"
No one gets it but a man on my left
who reads the same streets with a badge on his chest.
The street says its on our side from nightfall to dawn while soft-lit.
The shield tells the street a good cop protects a cop on and off it...
DID THAT MOTHERFUCKER JUST LAUGH AT ME?!
(gunshot)
|
||||
20. |
The Trust
01:33
|
|||
|
"The Trust"
Dispatched:
another 63 that turns to a 12 quickly.
The speed will give you whiplash.
On your trip, fast, you discern to yourself:
what was the race of this resister?
Was our purpose upheld?
You get a call like this, you're hoping that it's worth it to help.
That a fellow officer of the law didn't burn it to Hell.
It seems unlikely, but the nightly news has learned it can sell.
And a riot's a night away from citizens learn who fell.
I feel a distance between us.
You say it's 'cause I'm on a pedestal.
I say it's 'cause I see a scene with completeness.
And that's not something I can talk about in any arena.
There's a process.
There's subpoenas.
But you say my silence is weakness
because to you, I'm not a human from the start.
I'm a thug for the government playing his part.
No compassion or heart.
But my job is to defend all in a system that isn't pretend.
My only means of authority comes from this democracy's end.
And then...
I arrive on the scene,
the back of an officer (condition: pristine).
A kid twice his size dead.
His blood is pooled in the street,
down from the sidewalk where he lied from multiple shots to the spleen.
And I figured if you were here, we'd probably think think the same thing.
Added, I know this cop's a hothead and his background's unclean.
And it's low-lives like these who make a nightmare of dreams
that any of us could feel protected from a lawless extreme.
But this is that 'cause we took an oath that said we'd die to save a stranger
and here, we're taking lives outside of clear and present danger.
Hopson says, "This motherfucker tried to fight me! He's a criminal!",
responding to my non-verbal judgment: quiet, subliminal.
Now, cops who give a damn will tell each other, "This too shall pass..."
while the city's resources will go to save his ass.
All so the record shows that we were never wrong
but we were wrong
and the things that they said were happening
are happening.
|
||||
21. |
The Faith
05:56
|
|||
|
"The Faith"
God, I don't wanna die...
I lie and bleed from bullet holes.
Oh, Lord.
I don't know why.
Lord, I wanna live.
Is there not another grace to me that you could give?
Jesus, I'm so afraid.
I don't wanna be brave.
Not like this, God. Please!
I just wanna be saved!
Don't let them murder me!
Don't let them put me in a grave!
I'm tryna hold on!
Won't you tell me help is on the way?!
Tell me I'll live to see my family, friends, and other days!
My insides burning while blood floods my lungs...
I'm gagging on an aging breath 'cause the next does not come...
God, are you real?
Most things silent and invisible aren't.
'Cept maybe love. Or the suffering of those you let get harmed.
Another black unarmed male confirmed as killed... I cannot go out like this, God! You cannot let this be your will and then tell people that you're good! It's sadistic! It's unrealistic! It's narcissistic to say, for your glory, I'm a statistic!
ARE YOU THERE?!
WHERE?!
I AM SO SCARED!
I'M EXPOSED AND I'M NAKED
I'M BARE
I AM EMBARRASSED
I AM DEFENSELESS
I AM A LAUGHING STOCK
YOU ARE SO CARELESS
YOU ARE PRETENTIOUS
I AM AN AFTERTHOUGHT!!!!
You say you love me?
Where are you now that I need you most?
I feel so foolish speaking of "fate" or to "Holy Ghosts" while my enemies surround me and dance.
They're celebrating with chants of, "All Lives Matter!" while they snuff us like ants...
And in this cruel and petty world, who's afforded the chance to be holding the murder weapon and be allowed to advance?
Is the white officer made more in your image and preferred than the black man who he's nailed onto the curb?
Isn't that absurd?
Wasn't I your child?
Didn't I defend your name and your commands to those who hated you, called you "White Jesus" because they refused to understand?
Those who fetishized Black culture and lusted for Black art while vilifying Black faith: Black hope in a Black heart.
It's a mad pursuit confusing one's aptitude for your magnitude.
Murderers use your Word to justify what they'd rather do.
They feel too low to be below you.
They want no new light in old views.
They don't know you like I know you.
They don't go through what I go through...
They're so cheap, the victories won by a person unhinged.
To get my revenge might not make me much better than them.
Then, what is to sin?
To trespass?
To transgress?
To let pass what
can't.
press.
on?
Lord, I can't. press on.
I'll confess my wrongs
I'll say less, "I'm strong"
If you heal my wounds and get me off this trail I'm along...
What do you want from me?!
What have you promised me?!
No heirs put on with me!
All that I have ever wanted, I have wanted honestly!
'Cept a couple deeds I've done I may not have done honorably...
All the more evident why your work in me is non-complete!
I need more air!
More oxygen!
More time!
I need to know why you command that I'm peaceful in war time!
I need your help not to be anxious of images or time!
Help rid me of all my concern when you tell me, "It's your time."
Why am I talking to you as if I know you exist?
Fuck it. I am desperate.
I need hope there's more than this.
Why would you make me?
Why did I go through this Hell on Earth?
Why must I give it up without knowing what it was worth?
What if I put you first all my life and I went to church?
If I was perfect, would your verdict diverge me of all this hurt?
Did your son feel the pain that I do when He did His work?
Did He free me of this distance between us when evil lurks?
Are you making me more like Him?
If so, would you let me know?
I wanted to quit this life so many times!
Now, I can't let it go!
Lord, find the lost!
I need a new heart!
I need a new start!
I feel the weight of my wrongdoings and it tears me apart!
Lord, would you heal all who I've damaged, neglected or brought to shame?
Would you give them supernatural comfort in Jesus' name?
To my assassins, to the men who for my death will take the blame,
and to my family, I pray you'll grant them mercy all the same:
To those who conquer, who gain, and who lose whose hearts are still left longing,
those who worship their acceptance and their sense of their belonging,
those who get a taste of gratitude in times that don't make sense,
those who the world fails, who need faith, but are too afraid to repent, I say this:
My perfect savior, in spite of all of my flaws,
makes me not a slave to the system, to the street, or to the cause.
And with my God, I will be free.
That's all that's left I have to say.
'Cause you will never understand
what you will never take away:
faith.
|
||||
If you like You Will Never Understand (The State of Soul), you may also like:
REAL B*TCHES DON'T DIE!
by Kari Faux
A joyful celebration of the sounds of Southern rap from an artist who's never felt more at home and in command of her space and vision.
go to album
featured on Bandcamp Radio May 20, 2022
go to album
The Klassic Tape, Vol. 1
by Klassic Kell
featured on Bandcamp Radio Jul 30, 2021
go to album
IT'S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT YOU
by J-S.A.N.D.
featured on Bandcamp Radio Jun 18, 2021
go to album
The Texas rap collective's latest album is filled to the brim with tripped out, melodic rap tracks.
go to album
Street Knowledge
by Bentley & Parallel Thought
Having shacked up with Del and MF Doom, production powerhouse Parallel Thought now collabs with streetwise MC Bentley.
go to album
Pink Siifu, Jade Fox & Lord Byron return with a booming Southern rap opus of trunk-rattling bass drums & gritty strip club anthems.
go to album
